Girls’ Night Out Series
My next Jackson series starts this summer! The first story will be a novella called “Fanning the Flames” about Lauren Foster, a 43-year-old librarian trying to get back into dating. I’m just finishing this up now, and I’m so enjoying hanging out with these chicks. Here’s a little sneak peek of Lauren and her girlfriend Sophie, who’s trying to talk Lauren into a younger man:
Lauren was losing her nervous edge and starting to get into it. “Oh, he’s pretty,” she said, poking Sophie’s shoulder to draw her attention. “That guy by the juke box.”
Sophie’s eyes slid across the room. “He’s pretty, all right. So pretty he’s terrible in bed.”
“You’ve slept with him?”
“No, I can just tell.”
Sophie nodded in the face of Lauren’s incredulity. “Look at that smile. Those dimples. See how cute he thinks he looks. He was the cutest guy in his high school, and he never had to do anything to get laid except show up and wait. I promise you he knows nothing about cunnilingus.”
Shocked, Lauren looked him up and down. The pretty boy noticed and shot her a wink. Oh, God, Sophie was right.
Sophie nodded sagely. “What you need is someone who’s just coming into his prime. Maybe he was skinny and nerdy in high school, but now he’s twenty-five and really into river rafting and his muscles have filled out. He’s spent a lot of time—“
“No.” Lauren cut her off. “Twenty-five? I can’t do that, Sophie. No way. Has a twenty-five-year-old even seen stretch marks? Or breasts that have actually fulfilled their function? No, this is not happening.”
“They’re breasts, Lauren! Men like them. All of them. Keep the lights low and let him play with them. Instant happiness.”
Lauren forgot her horror and laughed so hard she snorted. “I can’t believe the words that come out of that cute little face.”
“This little face buys me a lot of leeway. Nobody suspects a thing.”…
No cover for this story yet, but I did just get the cover for the first full book in the series, Looking for Trouble. I hope you like it as much as I do!
A Public Service Plea
For the love of God, please slow down your porn gifs. It’s like watching vampire sex on True Blood. Have some porn dignity, people. For me.
Yes, That Is What Huckabee Meant
I keep hearing the argument that Mike Huckabee didn’t say women can’t control their libidos. He said that Democrats think women can’t control their libidos.
Here are his full remarks: http://www.thenation.com/blog/178064/mike-huckabee-actually-said-about-women-today Read and enjoy.
All right. Let’s be very, very clear about something. Huckabee said: “…making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it…” (emphasis mine)
That was his idea. His choice of words. He didn’t say Democrats think women want birth control because women don’t want children. Or because women can’t earn money. Or because men can’t control their libidos. He choose those words because he thinks birth control is for women who can’t control their libidos. He pinned that belief to Democrats because HE believes it.
(Is that what conservative men like to brag about? That their wives don’t need birth control because they can control their libidos? That their wives are just not that into them? All right, gentlemen. Carry on with your bragging. Pretty impressive.)
Does he know that 98% of American women (and therefore men) will use birth control in their lives? I guess it’s all just one big secret orgy you’re never invited to, huh? Is that what you’re so prickly about?
But for me the most important takeaway from his remarks is that he thinks birth control isn’t about men’s libidos. Because men aren’t responsible for making babies. Of course not. Ladies, if you’re going to spread your legs, you’re going to have to deal with the consequences. You’re the gatekeepers. Men are only following their nature. Your nature is to control yourselves. And to try to control men.
God, that’s so infuriating.
Still… where the fuck is all the free birth control the government is handing out? Uncle Sugar, where’s my free birth control? I thought my birth control coverage was coming out of my health insurance that I -with my ravenous vagina in one hand and dirty libido clutched in the other- am paying for with my hard work. Silly me.
But to Mike Huckabee and all the other conservatives out there… If you are truly pro-life, then I expect you to start supporting this mythical free birth control any day now. How can a true, honest believer take any other stance? Unless, of course, it’s about controlling women’s bodies and the country’s religion and not really about a higher calling at all. Access To Free Birth Control Causes Abortion Rate To Drop Dramatically: Study
This is why women are pissed. Because we are smart enough to know that Huckabee isn’t saying what Democrats believe. He’s saying what he believes. He’s saying what they all believe. And I’m saying fuck you.
My ranty links: Ye olde Troll Primer on Birth Control